We, being Liam, Carmel(Liam’s wife) Dave and Marina, Rose and myself, a motley crew if ever there was one, sweating before we even got on the flight, worried about excess baggage! We made it, we fooled them. We flew to Amsterdam, Singapore then Phuket. It was hot. A short ride on the bus and we arrived at out hotel.
Absolutely gorgeous. Well done Liam. Sitting on our very own beach, beautiful grounds, swimming pool, massage rooms, all the mod cons. Stripped off and down to the beach. Oh there were some funny looking sights, but also some wow looking sights!
We rested there for a few days, just to get acclimatized to the weather and get ourselves orientated and rested. Breakfast was the best part of the day for some of us, we won’t mention any names, but it was like breakfast, lunch and dinner all rolled into one!
We mousied off down to the local shopping area, that was a cultural shock! At first it looked like all that glittered was gold, well be bought enough watches to start a shop, but of course everything is fake, handbags, sunglasses, belts, you name it, all false. But who cares it was all bling bling!
On the second trip to the same place which was called it was evident that all was not rosy in the garden, there were pictures of the tsunami, which sent chills down ones spine, to think we were standing where one of the worst atrocities had occurred. Part of the pavement was still being reconstructed and apparently where the beach is, there used to be bars etc. now there is nothing. But the worst, for me anyhow, was the presence of the young girls pole dancing, not that I have anything against pole dancing, it was the whole thing of these girls putting themselves up for sale, so what says you, it is their choice I here you all say, no not quite, most of them are forced, sold or bullied into prostitution, they are brought in from Vietnam, Cambodia, North Thailand and India, a lot of them sold to Japan. It was terrible to see these beautiful young girls, hanging on to anything in a pair of trousers, knowing they are all over and done with by the time they are twenty five. Well I cannot make it into a personal crusade so we will leave that one. Everything is so cheap there. The bars where positively heaving with bodies. Although there were some amusing sights to be seen along the way, the most stunning looking females, or she he’s. One or two fellas got duped into that one, there figures where to be envied, there make up flawless, there clothes just wow! You may look, but don’t touch! If it was just a photo pay up.
The day arrived to leave the wives/partners and join our ship, well it turned out to be a boat, ridies in a bus, then a fast boat to our home for the next five days.
The boat had three decks, or was it four. Bottom two for bunks, two single beds in each cabin, arrival floor for all the diving gear, and galley, next one for eating, drinking and general cavorting, and the top for getting burned if one wished. We were sent to dive immediately, no messing, strip and get kitted up and in. can’t really remember much of that dive, Liam will tell you about what we saw, as when I got out I was not feeling the may west. Spent the next few days wrapped up in anything I could find and froze near to death with a feaver.yuk! Anyway as nobody loved me, they all went off diving without me and left me all alone to my miserable existence. Not for long, like phoenix rising from the deep I chirped up a few days later and took the plunge again. The island we were cruising around where called the Similian Islands, quite a lot of damage from the tsunami, but still loads to see. The coral was not as good as I thought it was going to be, but I don’t think it was ever as good as Egypt. One of the dives we went on, we were hoping to see sharks, we had to hold on to the edge of some rocks, hold on as the current was pretty strong, it was like getting an instant face lift! We did not see any sharks though, not that day, we did see some another day, cruising around, as well as turtles, loads of wonderful colored fish and things lurking around
I left the boat a day early; by that time I had motion sickness as well as not feeling the brightest star.
Back to civilization, my own shower and a floor that did not keep moving. Oh bliss.
We all had some humdinger massages, some of us had them at the hotel, others went hiking up a rather steep hill to have there’s, you would need it after climbing that wretched hill I can tell you.
One evening we went to a massive show, it was elephants cavorting around the stage, acrobats swinging from the ceiling, and people dressed in national costume cavorting all over the place, it really was some show, before going into the show, there were fish, carp in lakes, and when one threw food into them, they practically jumped out to get it, they were massive and masses of them writhing around.
We traveled like everyone does out there, either in a taxi or tuck tucks, the latter were more fun and could gather up some speed, we reckoned they were like the compressors on wheels.
We booked a day trip to an island called the James Bond island, the film where Ursula Andre comes out of the water in a raggedy bikini with a knife stuffed down her knickers, holding a shell, looking alluringly at James, that was also full of things to buy, i.e. pearls and shells, nobody bought anything though, being good divers, nothing should be taken from the sea. On the same boat trip we visited a village on stilts, one of the oldest around, very clever set up; again you could buy “things”
We did go on another boat for diving that was nearer to the main land the name of it was
Oh, I nearly forgot, in between diving islands, we came across a whale, who duly obliged to perform, in as much as he kept surfacing which was a thrill, also some dolphins followed us for a while, some saw a massive manta ray, I only saw the shadow sail by, but some saw one when they were diving.
We did more shopping, Dave included, he was as bad as Marina and myself.
By now some of us where getting quite fried and had lovely rosy cheeks and noses, as well as bright pink and white striped bodies.
And more shopping.
My feet would at this point, not get into a pair of shoes.
Dave, Marina and myself took off to a show called Simon, a show dedicated to glamour, displayed by the mail of the species, it was very hard to tell they were not girls, there costumes were as wowee as I have seen in the Moulin Rouge in Paris, lots of feathers and glitz, buckets of make up, wigs that Dolly Parton would of killed for and boobies, or were they there, and were was the other unmentionable piece of equipment? OH no wonder they all sang like little alter boys! Great show. We soldiered on, eating and shopping and lounging around the pool and beach, it was such hard work, then the dreaded day came to pack up and go home, back to rain, work and dark cold evenings, nothing lasts forever. The trip home was horribly long, stopping in Singapore for six hours, but what an airport to get stuck in, rows of, you guest, shops and restaurants. and free massages for the tired legs and feet, on to Amsterdam and home to Dublin. An unforgettable holiday, in more ways than one. Thanks Liam for organizing the trip and guiding us around, finding a super dive boat and diving.
Dianne Coleman.
P.R.O. NSAC
