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July 19, 2005
A Big Block On My Desk
Writer’s block is trouble. Especially when you sit down to write something. The glaring white screen singes your eyes as you stare at what optimists might call a canvas of possibilities. Yeah well optimists also call getting stuck in a cage full of tigers an ideal once in a life time opportunity to see wildlife up close. “The fools,” I say imagining their demise whilst chuckling to myself. You see writing isn’t as easy as I make it out to be. (Cough, cough.) It is an art that when creating, is fraught with distraction. For example, my gaze has momentarily strayed to the shelf on my left and in particular to the Dogtanian and The Three Muskehounds DVD. The Complete 26 Episode Series. Dogtanian, as if I have to explain, is the epic 1980’s cartoon show based on Alexandre Dumas’ classic novels. To make the story kid friendly and in what some might call a stroke of genius, the entire cast is made up of dogs and cats. Who could resist watching fur fly in sword duels in France? In fact a strong urge overcomes me to stop writing this very moment and immerse myself in “a battle against the forces of evil with legendary swordsmanship helping Dogtanian escape danger in the nick of time.* (*Taken from the back of the box.)
I must resist temptation though. I must stay focused. I must concentrate. I must . . . My phone is beeping! I swear to Ernest Hemmingway that in the middle of writing that sentence I have just received a text. The irony over powers me. It’s from Tanya and continues from a conversation we we’re having earlier. She says “I’m surely not as talented as you in the writing department but I’m prettier which makes up the difference.” She’s previously admitted to never having read this column before so there’s every chance she could be a great deal more talented in the writing department. She probably never gets writers block either. God Damn It. I text back and thank her because now I’ve got a little bit more to write about. Unfortunately she replies back with “Do not put me in the column or I will be forced to beat you severely upon our next meeting!” As you can see I have decided to call her bluff and possibly face a law suit. So now I’m back to staring back at the computer screen. It’s so easy just to minimize this window and start browsing through music and photo files. In fact I might just do that.
The first file I see is a music recording that I made with Paul “I can’t drive” Winters last week. It’s entitled “The Ballad of Pirate Bill” and it’s a swashbuckling tale told through song. Me and Winters are the new Lennon and McCartney. I write the lyrics and sing them and he writes the music and plays it. We actually did a few studio versions of Pirate Bill’s Ballad but it’s the LIVE recording that stands out because I keep missing my queues for verses and there’s a lot more cries of piratey phrases like “Arrrhh!” and “Pieces of eight!” (You can download the song for free from www.liamgeraghty.com) I suppose I really should try and think of something to write. How can I fully devote my attention to writing this when my would-be arch nemesis is up there in the Vox Pop near the top of this page. See him there with the cheesy smile.
His name is there as Craig O’Connor but his real name is Hank Tree. Look at him there giving some rubbish opinion on Live 8. Sigh. Ok, ok, I’ve been putting off writing for a good few paragraphs so I suppose I better actually start now. In fact that’s it! I feel inspired! I know what I’m going to write about! My writer’s block is cured! Hey it looks like I’m coming suspiciously near the end of the page. What’d ya mean you’re cutting it here? Aw crap!
Posted by LiamG at July 19, 2005 06:14 PM