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June 05, 2005

"You cultural degenerate you!"

It’s a wet and windy November morning. A lone Magpie flies through a menacingly dark sky as a low thunder growls between the clouds. The platform at Newbridge Station is soaking, drenched in heavy rainfall. Around a hundred miserable people have huddled beneath the overhead shelter. One or two souls are hovering beneath large black umbrellas, exposed to the shower. Woe is in the air. It smells of damp wood. Far in the distance a light can be seen. It offers no comfort though. It’s only the Arrow and it’s quite likely to be raining inside its carriages. Hardcore commuters will understand. Onboard and wet, I get a text message from my old pal, Leo in reference to the fact that I went to see Hanson and missed “Hmm Bop!” It reads “Ha ha. Serves you right for going to see the little blonde ***** in the first place – you cultural degenerate you. Poetic justice has been served.” You’ll have gathered Leo’s not a fan of Hanson. I continue reading “JOIN ME,” Danny Wallace’s book about how he started a cult by accident after placing a small ad in a local paper, saying simply ‘Join me’. Within months he was getting letters and e-mails from all over the world eager to sign up. I consider briefly about placing an ad in this very paper saying the same thing and wondering what sort of Kildare person would reply to such a thing. My thoughts are broken as another text message arrives. Its from Franky Stein of the band $chmackey & the Salads. It reads “Sorry I didn’t make it to the Reading Series, man. I’ll be at the December one, I swear. That’s a franky stein promise.” Well you read it here folks, Franky Stein made a solemn promise to come and I’ve put his promise in print for added security. In fact three other members of the band turned up to the Reading Series ( Rich, Hank and $chmackey ). We got a healthy audience of around thirty or so people of which I’m very grateful too. The next in the reading series takes place on Thursday 9th of December in the Riverbank Arts Centre at 8pm when Mae Leonard, Paul Winters and Jack L (by video) will all be reading for your listening pleasure. Admission is, of course, free. Back on the Arrow, we’re as pulling into Hueston Station the driver begins talking over the crackly intercom. “I’m happy to say we’re arriving on time.” Then he pauses for a moment before saying “God bless the driver!”

Trains, Buses & Automobiles by Liam Geraghty appears every week in the Kildare Nationalist (page 6)

Posted by LiamG at June 5, 2005 10:10 PM