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June 05, 2005

U.S.A.

Getting ready to commute across the Atlantic is no small challenge. It involves dexterity, competence and good organisational skills. Unfortunately I have none of those. Furthermore, according to my thesaurus, another word for ‘dexterity’ is ‘nimbleness’ and I can’t even begin to imagine where ‘nimbleness’ will come into play along my journey. I’m told that there are several important things to do, when going abroad. 1. Get travel insurance. This I can understand. Being an internationally renowned columnist, I’m at risk from all sorts of travel mishaps. I decided to get my travel insurance from USIT on Aston Quay, which took longer than expected due to the girl at the counter constantly referring to how cute I looked in my ID photos. The ones where I look around 10 years old.

2. Get dollars. The exchange rate at the moment is quite favourable. For example, you can get $130 for €100. The main difference in the currency though, is the colour. Or as American’s say “the color”. While ours is psychedelic, theirs is simply green. It’s like cartoon money. Although since most cartoons come from the States, I guess its actually pretty accurate. One American I know living in Newbridge, says he likes the smell of dollars rather them Euros. Indeed, but sniffing currency sounds suspiciously illegal. 3. Make sure your passport is in date. This may seem obvious but I’ll bet there are people out there who don’t. The thing that bugs me is that they usually don’t stamp your passport with the country’s seal like they used too. I’ve been from Rome to Frankfurt and from Paris to Wales and the only stamp I have in my passport is the one from Slovenia. Luggage is the same. Nobody has old-fashioned cases with worn and faded city stickers anymore.

Having got my travel insurance, smelled my dollars (O’er Missus!) and found my passport I nearly had everything in check. On my way home from Dublin, word came through, as it so often does in this column, that my good amigo Shane Mackey had got himself into more trouble than he was able for. He had inadvertently challenged the outstanding Newbridge athlete Karen Shinkins to a 100-metre sprint. The terms of the race were that if Karen lost the race (highly improbable) she would give her most prized medal to Shane. If Shane lost the race (highly likely) he would have to shave his hair off. A fair trade off if ever there was one. A date has yet to be set but rest assured it’s going to quite a spectacle. Shane confided in me that he’s going to have the two people who are holding the finishing point ribbon to run away from Karen if it starts to look like she’s going to win. And just as Shane inadvertently challenged Karen to the race, I have inadvertently become Shane’s fitness trainer.

When I finally got back, I made straight for the Riverbank Arts Centre for my final lunch in Newbridge before departing for the USA. Paul Winters and Steven Neville joined me. Paul began telling us of how his bike suddenly packed up while he was cycling it that morning, sending him crashing down on the footpath. An old lady walking her dog came up to him, as he lay injured, and said “Where’s your bloody helmet?” Only in Newbridge. Steven then told me how he had been thinking about throwing in the towel on occupations that wielded creativity, which would be the film industries loss. Never the less, I told he could become an astronaut or work as my assistant. Two very prestigious jobs. After several hot chocolates, we bid adieu. It was time for me to go home and prepare for the epic journey I was about to embark on. The Big Commute to the Big Apple.

Next week’s “Trains, Buses and Automobiles” comes direct from New York.

Trains, Buses & Automobiles by Liam Geraghty appears every week in the Kildare Nationalist (page 6)

Posted by LiamG at June 5, 2005 09:38 PM