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June 22, 2005
LIAM'S MAILBAG: Questions Finally Answered!
Since this column started I’ve been receiving all sorts of questions from the good Nationalist readers. My schedule doesn’t allow for much else apart from the kind of lazing dreamers do but with the arrival of some gentle sunshine last week I took the time out to read through some of your e-mails. Q. How do you go about writing your column every week? Daniel in Sallins. A. That’s a good question, Daniel. I write the column every Sunday night. Imagine, if you will, a old noir film. Imagine a room that wouldn’t seem out of place in a hard-boiled detective story. A cluttered desk beside a tall file cabinet. In the centre of that room is an oversized desk on which sits a big clunky typewriter. That’s the desk I sit at. I’m wearing a creased pin stripe shirt with an open collar and a black tie hanging around it. I’m smoking Lucky Strikes. Every time my fingers strike the letter keys they make a sound not un-similar to the sound of a magnum gun shot. It’s 2am. That, Daniel, is how I go about writing the column. It’s a wonderful experience. Q. Liam, what’s your favourite Hueston Station announcement? Lillian in Kildare. A. That’s quite a tough question as I have so many favourites. The “We’re implementing the Smoking Ban soon” announcement still makes me smile although I do like it when they announce things like “the train approaching platform three is on schedule.”
Q. You reference books quite a lot in your column but what’s your favourite book? Martin in Naas. A. The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupéry is easily one of the finest books I have ever read. Translations of it differ greatly but I like the one by Katherine Woods. It is a book I’ve always read in one sitting which in a sense is required of this beautiful parable. As the author says, “I do not want anyone to read my book carelessly. I have suffered too much grief in setting down these memories.” When I was in France years ago, when they still used Francs, the Little Prince lived on the back of the five franc note. Q. Is Paul Winters really as bad a driver as you make him out to be? Claire in Athy. A. Claire, if anything I tone down Winters’ bad driving so that the Guards don’t take him off the road. You might also be interested to know that he’s working on a production called “Traffic Jam: The Musical.” No kidding.
Q. Who’s the weirdest person you’ve ever met while commuting? Danny in Nurney. A. Anyone who commutes will know that weirdoes prefer to use public transport than drive, a fact that’s mildly depressing. In any case, there’s an old man who I regularly bump into on the number 90 into town whose not so much weird as he is odd. Usually I hate getting stuck with sitting beside odd people who insist in talking to you but this old man is different. The stories he comes out with are fantastic. For example, “Buck Whaley was an extremely wealthy gambler who lived in Dublin in the seventeen hundreds. Due to inheritances, he had an income of seven thousand pounds per year (not far off seven million a year at today’s prices). He lived in a huge house near Stephen’s Green which is now the Catholic University of Ireland. He went broke and he had to leave Ireland due to gambling debts. He swore he’d be buried on Irish soil but is in fact buried in the Isle of Man in a shipload of Irish soil which he imported for the purpose.” Every time I meet him he comes out with these tales. “The original name of Trinity College was “Trinity College Near Dublin.” The capital was a lot smaller then.” and “The Burke Brothers were Dublin’s 1960’s equivalent of the Kray twins. They weren't actually brothers but second cousins.” I have no idea who he is but I like to think he’s a failed Dublin historian who got fired after making up his own history.
Q. Liam, what would you most like to have in the world? Isabel in Kilcullen. A. A bouquet of sharpened pencils. Please continue to send your questions and comments to liam@liamgeraghty.com or send a bouquet of sharpened pencils to Liam Geraghty, Kildare Nationalist, Edward St., Newbridge, Co. Kildare, Ireland
Trains, Buses & Automobiles by Liam Geraghty appears every week in the Kildare Nationalist (pg.6)
Posted by LiamG at June 22, 2005 11:13 PM