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June 05, 2005

Leaving New York

“Aer Lingus! AER LINGUS!” My Mexican taxi driver, whose English was on a par with my Irish, wanted to know what airline I was flying with. You see JFK Airport is so big that it’s split into a whole load of terminals. Each terminal houses different airlines. So he wanted to know which airline I was with so he could drive me to the right terminal. “Aer Lingus! I’m going to Dublin! AER LINGUS!” He hadn’t a clue what I was on about. “London? You go to London?” he said. “No, no, no. Heaven forbid! Ireland. I’m flying to Ireland with Aer Lingus!” “Ok, ok. Look at signs,” he said pointing to several large signs in the distance. “You tell me which number is you.” It wasn’t until we actually got close to the signs that I knew what he meant. Each sign had a number of a terminal on it, along with a long list of airlines that were housed at that terminal. “Ok, Here we go,” he said. “Are you one?” I quickly scanned the first sign bereft of Aer Lingus. “No. No. I’m not one” The next sign loomed. “Ok, Ok. Are you two?” Things went on like this until we got to sign number four and I spotted Aer Lingus. “Number four! I’m FOUR!” I said with far too much enthusiasm for a sign. “Ah,” he said, “Aer Lingus.”

After checking in, I was left to wander through the shops and Duty Free stores. Duty Free for a twenty-year-old Irish guy is rendered pointless in terminal four of JFK as you have to be twenty-one to be able to buy alcohol. What is the world coming too? I had to settle for JD and coke without the actual JD. The thing I loved most about the shops in the airport though were that they all represented one of the major tourist attractions in New York. For example, there was the Official New York Subway store where you could buy mugs and t-shirts with a map of the subway printed on them. There was also a shop selling gifts from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The main reason I loved these shops is because you can buy gifts for family and friends who’ll think you’ll have actually bought them ***in*** New York whereas you’ve actually forgotten to buy anything for anyone so you’ve just bought a whole load of New York themed mugs and key rings at the airport on your way home. Not that I’d ever do that. Ahem.

Getting onto the actual plane involved more frisking, which I was getting used to at this stage. Aboard I was lucky enough to get a window seat. As we took off into the night sky, New York was a dazzling array of little lights. The city was awake constantly. Yellow taxis. Subway stations. Hot dog stands. Broadway. The Empire State Building. It is a fine city and I’ll miss it. Especially the girl I met on the subway. Now that I mention it, some readers have contacted me wishing to know what happened next. Well, as you know, I met a cute girl on the subway who said I should come out and visit her at the store where she worked. So, the next day, yours truly went off in search of “Yellow Rat Bastard”, the trendy Soho store that she worked in. Yours truly, then proceeded to get hopelessly lost. I went in search of the store again the following day (and crucially my last day) only to find it was her day off. So what should have been a romantic comedy starring me as Tom Hanks and the cute girl as Meg Ryan turned out to be more like a Shakespearean tragedy. I wanted to let this girl know that I had desperately tried to find her in the big city so I emailed the customer service guy ‘Derek’ at “Yellow Rat Bastard” who has begun a massive search for her throughout the store. And that, my friends, is the conclusion my heart breaking inter-continental love story.

The flight back to Dublin was a smooth one. The jet lag has really screwed me up but I’m looking forward to getting back on the Arrow. . .


Trains, Buses & Automobiles by Liam Geraghty appears every week in the Kildare Nationalist (page 6)

Posted by LiamG at June 5, 2005 09:43 PM