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June 05, 2005

Arriving Home

I’m finally back in Newbridge. That jewel of south Kildare. That town of quaint possibilities. That hive of scum and villainy. Ah, yes. I’m most definitely home. And what’s the first thing I do when I arrive here? Exactly. Catch the first train to Dublin! I’ve got a black belt in keepin’ it real, folks. The Arrow doesn’t seem to have changed much in that its still an awful shade of orange. Aboard the train I’m reading Athy author, Lissa Oliver’s latest novel – a racing thriller called Gala Day. Lissa very kindly sent me a special single print edition of the book while I was in Washington DC. It was accompanied by a note that read: “The book is cunningly devised to fall apart as you read it, in order to ensure you buy a real copy when it’s published.” Ho, ho, ho. She’s a crafty soul.

When we got nearer to Hueston Station a customary practise is carried out by the commuters of Iarnród Éireann. Even though we’re a good twenty minutes away from the station certain people begin to make their way to the doors. These commuters are beginners and totally inexperienced in the art of commuting. Hardcore commuters will realise that while it looks like we’re very near to Hueston that we are in fact quite a great deal away. Hence getting up at this point means you have to stand for a good twenty minutes. So what’s the problem? Let the beginners learn from their mistakes by standing for twenty minutes and leave the hardcore bunch to wallow in their superior knowledge from their seats. Ah, but therein lies the crunch. All it takes is for one commuter to get out of their seat and head for the door to set the domino effect off. One by one, more and more people will head for the door. They slowly begin to block the centre aisle and if the hardcore commuters don’t follow suit, they’ll be last off the train. There’s just no winning.

Hueston Station doesn’t to seem to have changed much. Not that it would I suppose. The LUAS station just outside the front entrance seems to be completed although all the trams that pass through it are Out of Service. After accidentally taking the number 91 bus, I make my way over to Henry Street. You see I’ve been informed that those charity scratch card sellers on Henry St. actually earn up to 40% of the money they take in! Which is insane! Call me naïve, but I always thought they did it out of the goodness of their hearts. Turns out their intent is nothing short of evil. Think about it. They earn their money by selling scratch cards for charity! So when you give them €3, they take 40% minus the production costs of the actual scratch card itself, leaving the charity with very little intake. Amazingly, there weren’t any card sellers stalking Henry St. that day but the next time one of those attractive girls who sell them jumps out at me, I’ll have a much better excuse to give her than “Leave me alone. I’m in a hurry.”

Onward to Eason’s on O’Connell Street where I’m scheduled to do lunch with a couple of college friends of mine. My old comrade Anthony is leaving for England in a couple of days so we’re all there to say our farewells. In my modesty I’ve brought him a copy of my “LIAM: Live in Brooklyn” CD which contains an audio recording of my New York reading. I know he’ll savour the pompousness of it, especially because I’ve signed it on the inside CD jacket! Just getting in some practise for when I hit the bestseller shelves . . .

Speaking of readings, I want you, my loyal readers to be the first to know about my very own reading series! It’s been cleverly titled The Riverbank Reading Series and yours truly will be the host. We’ll be kicking off on Thursday 18th November in the Riverbank Arts Centre, Newbridge with readings from Kildare novelist Martin Malone and Athy-based author, Lissa Oliver. Mary Beckerman (the writer I stayed with in Washington DC) will give a video reading from his latest book. Then on Thursday 9th December, Naas writer Mae Leonard will be reading from her work as well as a very special video reading by Ireland’s greatest singer, JACK L! And the good news is – it’s FREE! I wouldn’t have it any other way. You can get tickets in the Riverbank or by ringing the Box Office on 045-448333. Oh and I’ll be reading a little bit as well! Spread the Word!

Trains, Buses & Automobiles by Liam Geraghty appears every week in the Kildare Nationalist (page 6)

Posted by LiamG at June 5, 2005 09:44 PM